Pray for my Obnoxious Roommate!

So I have a new roommate. She has been living with me for about nine months now. She is getting on my nerves and I feel really bad about it because she really is awesome. It’s just that she is TOO awesome. She has SO much energy and wants to save the world or something – it’s like she is heading up the Peace Corps. She is also really protective and doesn’t want the bad guys to get me so she is walking around with a baseball bat all the time and lately is hitting me by accident because she is so quick to defend me (she thinks I’M a bad guy sometimes). She is confused. I don’t want to kick her out, but she is REALLY getting hard to live with lately. Please, please, pray she will calm down and be easier to live with. I mean, I really wish she would just sit on the porch with a margarita and chill for a bit instead of chasing me around. Oh, her name you ask (so that you can pray specifically)? You can call her “Gretta the Graft” or “Trina the Transplant” or “Suzy Stem Cells” – she will answer to any of those.

If you aren’t following my silly metaphor, I am having some pretty annoying graft vs. host (GVHD) issues right now. See, my transplant is all strong and gung-ho to keep me here for my people, but it is going a bit overboard. Right now it seems to think my skin is a bad guy and is attacking it. I am covered head to toe, and I seriously mean head…to…toe, in a very ugly rash. It’s gross. I don’t even want to start describing it to you because…. it’s just gross. I feel like I should be going around yelling “unclean! unclean!” I am guessing this is what the lepers felt like. Does it itch you ask? Not so much. It did at the beginning, but doesn’t that much now. My hands, feet, and mouth do all hurt though. And this past week we all decided to catch a cold, so I ran a fever and felt all achy on top of that. My hands hurt to do anything – type, sew, cook. My feet felt like I was walking on needles at times. The mouth was getting so bad it was hurting to drink water and read books to Gus (HUGE problem!) – I have a new mouthwash to add to my collection – it is working wonders. My hair is thinning a lot from the scalp issues – I mean, I worked hard to grow this stuff! This is NOT okay! Ideally, we would like to just be able to treat these things topically and me not have to take anything systemic like steroids that would suppress my enthusiastic immune system. Because as much as it is getting on my nerves, the GVHD shows that it is working and that same immune system that is fighting me will fight off the cancer bugs. We don’t want to squelch that enthusiasm! SOOOOOOOO, please pray for all this to clear up on its own. I need some relief. This past week I felt pretty miserable. I was not in a good place, but then again I was. I was crying out to the Lord like Job – though He slay me, yet I will trust Him – but also I was begging for some mercy. I have so many things I would rather be doing – with my kids, with my Cozy Closet, with my friends….. But He has me here, covered in this rash right now. So I am resting, looking for His hand, the small blessings, the lessons along the way.

Yesterday was a year since I ran a local 5K with my oldest. It is highly likely that I ran that race with Leukemia. I just can’t even put into words how the heaviness feels right now. It is a little eerie having mouth issues in the same weeks of the year that I did last year (you all DO remember Ursula the ulcer, right?). I was not even close to feeling up to walking the race, let alone run, which I had made a goal of mine back around December right before the rash first started – oh well, Lesley makes her plans, but God orders her steps. But it was a beautiful day – a day that was a gift. Spring is showing everywhere. I did feel a surge of energy and got my laundry done (which probably took way more energy than running a 5K!). I started to see a glimmer of hope that things are going to get better. So, pray with me friends. Pray that I heal up and get back to doing the things I love.

Love to you all,
Lesley