Unexpected Fireworks

This month has been slow and fast all the same. Wound healing is moving on, albeit very slowly. I have my good days, and I have my bad days energy-wise. Let’s see…what all have I done this month? I drove a couple of times, but it’s nice that I have three extra drivers in my house now because I’ve had them chauffer me and run errands for me some as well. Marsh and I have had a few “doctor dates” and it has been a while since we’ve done that, so that’s been fun. I got all my teenagers to the bank to open checking and savings accounts and get debit cards. I got two more kids to the orthodontist to start the braces process (two at once! ugh!). We (meaning Marsh and the twins) did a sprint on a complete room renovation – and it looks amazing! We gutted a bedroom (that used to be a porch), built a closet, did a new ceiling and floor, new lighting and electrical, and painted. They finished it in two weeks! I am so proud! Oh, and in the middle of all of that, we decided to get Gus a puppy. So yeah, just the normal crazy around the Letson house 🙂

As far as my health and wound healing goes, it really is going to be a very long road. Things are going in the right direction, but it is just going to be a while. We pretty much have to take it day by day, week by week, and play it by ear. Yeah, this doesn’t track well with how I like to know a plan, know what to expect, and work said plan. So here I am, back at the place where I am having to learn more patience and trust. I am back to having to exercise my “look for the good in this – the new opportunities” muscles. I will still have to have surgery soon, but even that plan has changed from the original one. I am back to having to slow down, depend on others, and say “no” way more often than I would like (to myself, friends and family). I know this road. I’ve been here before. But that doesn’t mean that I like it – it’s just familiar. God is still good though and He continues to give me little reminders, like small wildflowers along the side of this rocky road, that He is still here and loves me and has good plans for me.

The Fourth of July is one of my favorite holidays. I have always loved fireworks. Growing up, my mom and I would go hear the symphony in the park and they always concluded with the 1812 Overture and fireworks show synchronized to music. It was amazing. I have so many good memories of those days. Since my kids were little we have gone to a good friend’s house on the lake who happens to be into pyrotechnics himself. We have a pretty big fireworks display there that has garnered quite the following over the years – both on land and in the water just outside their cove. I go a little overboard with red white and blue desserts and it is the best time. We have been there with me bald, just out of surgery. The only year we missed was the year of my transplant. That year Marsh got some fireworks and we went out to the nursery and shot them. This year, since I didn’t time my little medical emergency so well, we weren’t even able to do that. And to be honest, I was pretty bummed that day. But around six or seven my oldest texted me because he was out with a friend and they wanted to know if they could come back here and shoot fireworks. Of course, I said yes! They went to the store and spent their own money and bought a few things. No, this is nothing near what I am used to, but I think it may have been the best 4th of July I’ve had to date. I got out of my pajamas that I’d been in all day and decided I was up for riding the golf cart out there. It had rained and was still overcast, the sunset was gorgeous, and it made the booms even louder than usual. They echoed off the tree line on the road side of the nursery. We had smoke bomb grenades and sparklers – oh, did we have sparklers! And we had some of the big glittery purple and gold ones, my favs. Four teenage boys, a toddler, and a dad – it was wonderful to sit back and watch. I told my son and his friend that I really appreciated them buying the fireworks and how it truly made my day – I doubt either of them will ever grasp how much it really did. Here it was, the end of the day that had been totally blah and God provided me fireworks in an unexpected way. I was thankful.

While my volunteering with the hospital and LLS has started off much rockier than I imagined, I have still been able to visit with patients in person and on the phone. I was able to help a practitioner friend this week get a pregnant mom admitted quickly by providing some names and numbers of who to call. Things are not going the way I had planned in my head, both medically and with my volunteering. I am certain though, that God has a plan for it all and has all the little details worked out ahead of time. He provided the ram for Abraham and Isaac at the last minute. He provided me with fireworks at the last minute. Pretty sad comparison, I know, but it reminds me that even when we feel like something is over, He will provide.

Wally is going to be with me for at least two more weeks when I go back to the surgeon. Who knows what adventures we will have next?! Please continue to pray for healing – above and beyond what we think is possible (I like to aim high with my prayer requests). Pray for my husband and kiddos – they shoulder so much and do it with such grace and humility, I know it isn’t easy. Pray for my doctors who are amazing at thinking outside the box with me and my “very complicated case.” And last, but certainly not least, please pray for the patients – cancer is horrible. I hate it. Pray that the nurses, doctors, and myself with what little involvement I have, can help make this unbearable time more bearable for them.