April 16, 2020 · from Lesley’s original CaringBridge journal
Well fans, I’ve officially been here a week! And boy has it been a busy one. Here is the medical recap of the past couple of days:
I had my last chemo on Tuesday night – so strange “finishing” chemo that quickly when my first go-round was a 20 week course! Wednesday was my worst feeling day yet – the crash day for sure. I was completely wiped out physically and had a horrible headache all day that just wouldn’t go away. Then, in the afternoon I thought I’d spice things up a bit and run a fever. So I had to have blood cultures taken and have been on IV antibiotics (as well as oral) since then. I also heard a couple of “doubting words” that started to chip away at the peace I’ve had about this whole process. Thankfully today was a new day and it has been much better. My headache has been gone for the most part and I’ve had more energy. PT brought me a stationary bike today so I can look out my big windows (I’ve been told I have the best view on the floor) and exercise away – my own private Peleton show!
I met with the transplant coordinator yesterday and have a clearer idea of what the process is and where we are in it. I’ll try to condense the best I can. The next big step is the repeat bone marrow biopsy on day 14 (which I think is next Friday). This will let us know if we were successful in wiping my marrow clean of enough cancer cells to move on to transplant. In the meantime, I get to hang out up here, be treated like a queen, and they monitor my bloodwork like crazy. I will have units of blood, plasma, platelets, whatever, to support my system while we have me knocked down. A huge thank you to everyone who gives blood. This isn’t the first time I’ve had a blood transfusion but other folks’ generosity is keeping me alive right now. If the biopsy is favorable we will move straight to transplant. Thank you to everyone who has signed up to be on the registry – keep it coming! Even if you don’t match me you could save someone else’s life! There are 10 main factors they try to match on the bone marrow typing. They need at least 5 to match, but want to be as close to 10 as they can. If the biopsy is favorable and they have secured a donor I will have chemo one more time to make sure the slate is wiped clean before they transplant. She was very encouraging that things seem to be going to plan and we are hoping we can keep trucking right through this process.
Let’s talk those doubting words for a second and then we are going to talk about God’s faithfulness in the small things. I told you all about the “numbers not telling the whole story” the other day. It is rather disconcerting that it looks great on paper, but there could still be cancer bugs forming their armies inside of me. The other “words” I heard today that rattled me had to do with more info coming in from my biopsy. 90% of the cells were cancer cells and “that’s a lot.” That tingly feeling started, ironically right after I had come in my room from doing some laps in the hall and feeling great. The feeling attacked thing is so real! I was told that the goal would be for when they do the second biopsy next week to be less than 5% That seems like a lot, it is a lot, but God can do it if that is what His plan is. It’s back to the waiting and trusting. I was tired from my big outing up and down the 5 South Hall, and they had to give me a unit of blood (which has Benadryl as a premed) so I started getting dozy and the thoughts were tough to manage. Marsh called and we talked about the scary. Then the phone rang. It was my transplant coordinator. The rest of my typing had come in and she was able to enter it into the donor registry – she had multiple 10/10 (or close to it) matches come up right off the bat! She showed it to the transplant doc and he said we get the pick of the litter for me! Right there…right when the doubt and the fear and the scary was creeping in, God was right there. He gave me the reassurance I need. He reminded me that He has this under control. He is so good. He is so faithful even where my weak faith struggles to believe because of what I see around me. Of course I called Marsh and told him the good news. We are encouraged.
Here are the specific prayer requests:
- that this next week will fly by and my labs will remain stable
- that the bone marrow biopsy at day 14 shows NO cancer cells – I’m shooting for the moon
- that the coordination of a donor during a pandemic goes smoothly – we have some hurdles
- that all of my pre-transplant testing shows no problems (there are a lot of tests I need to pass)
- my guys – Gus especially – he was crying on FaceTime with me last night and it broke my heart
- that Ursula the ulcer will go away – I am thankful for her bc she brought me here, but I am ready to evict her. My mouth is still killing me and eating is so difficult
- that people come to know Jesus through this, that faith is strengthened, and that God’s glory shines so bright it can’t be ignored! He is at work, in me, and I am humbled
I am going to try to do a video tour of the room so I can show off my decorations – so if you read this early you may want to check back to see if I was able to post it. I’ll put it on FB if I’m able also. I appreciate each and every one of you. I have gotten so many cards, gifts, checking ins. You guys are doing a great job of making this weak old mamma feel loved.
Lesley
Comments from CaringBridge
Karen (Regan McShanes mom) Pardoe — 4/18/20
Leslie, you are an amazing woman and I thank God for your faith. You encourage others through your words, you continually trust God and His plan, even in the “scary”, and through it all you Glorify His Name. Praying diligently for “the list”.
Judy Rogers — 4/17/20
Lesley, Wayne & I are lifting you with strong supplications before God’s throne of grace!! In fact, I often weep in prayer for you, that God might show mercy to you in bringing healing forever!! Yet we both know that His ways are not our ways but are “higher and greater” and our faith is truly tested at these times. Your testimony is a powerful one and I know it’s by His grace alone that you find any strength to “soldier on!” May the Lord bless & keep you & your dear family. “God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble, so we will not fear though the earth give way; though the mountains fall into the midst of the sea, though the waters roar and the waters foam, though the mountains quake and we’re all alone – God is our refuge and strength.!” (from my song on Psalm 46)
Kreg Bryan — 4/17/20
The Bryans are praying for you Lesley, and the family! Thanks for posting and updating us all! We are with you!
Gina Shealy — 4/17/20
Continuing to pray for you, Lesley. bless you all— I love how God does “show up” when we feel so anxious.. of course He is there all along, but that anxiety and fear get pretty big sometimes… never bigger than our God!
Gerry Brooks — 4/16/20
Dick and I continue to pray for you, your wonderful family and the amazing medical staff. Remember that God is always with you.
Erica Lamar — 4/16/20
❤️❤️❤️
Barbara McPipkin — 4/16/20
Lesley we are praying for you!! If I can help in any way please let me know!! Keep up your great faith! Miracles happen! Faith before Fear!
Lou Queen — 4/16/20
Praying for you and your family!!! Love you!!!🙏❤️👍🙌🏻👏🏻😊
Renee’ Tew — 4/16/20
Hi Lesley! God Bless You! I read your post every day. Thank you for putting your prayer request at the end of your post. It makes my prayers more spacific, but of course I add a few of my own! My parents are in quarentien at the assisted living appartment. No “Ronna” outbreaks there yet! Praise the Lord! Keep your focus! Keep those doubting words and thoughts away and remember where your joy comes from! Love you my friend! God Bless, Renee’
Tamera Erskine — 4/16/20
I’m friends with Howard and Dolores and wish you my best! My prayers are with you and your family!
Carrie Sanders — 4/16/20
You are such an inspiration, We send all our prayers and love to you and your guys. You and GOD soooo GOT THIS!!!
Carey McCaslin-Murns — 4/16/20
I’m praying for you everyday. Your words continue to inspire me! I feel like that’s not fair…but that is one way God is using you. You are a light in a very dark world, Lesley and I’m praying that it is His will that you be healed. I am praying for everything to work in your favor. I look forward to your posts and seeing your faith shine through in this trying time. ❤️
Debbie Butts — 4/16/20
Lesley you are such a blessing to everyone that reads your words. You continue to have our prayers.
Cancermamma 