June 16, 2018 · from Lesley’s original CaringBridge journal
“That’s 20 weeks! Five whole months!” This was my reaction back in January when Dr. Wells explained how long my chemo treatment would last. It seemed so daunting, so long – and it was! But here we are at the end and looking back in so many ways it has gone by fast. I was speaking with one of my BC sisters the other day who is a few paces behind me in this journey – she is at the little past halfway point when we both agree that you are “so over chemo” and ready for it to be done. I was in that hole several weeks back. Now I am down to one treatment left and am clinging to my oncology office rope tightly – I don’t want to let go! I have grown so attached to my chemo family it is going to be so hard and strange to walk out of there next Friday and say “bye.” So as my favorite nurse Sarah says, “we don’t do goodbye very well around here.” There is a unique bond formed in that office that I am sure others can imagine but unless you have been there don’t truly understand the depths of.
The last couple of weeks have had much excitement around the Letson house. Two weeks ago I went into treatment feeling fine only to find that my blood counts had taken a dive – my white count specifically. I was one tenth under the threshold for treatment but thankfully was approved to get it anyway. The next week we prayed and I tried any trick I had heard of to help get it back up. One friend said she had heard beets helped so I started adding them to my juicing concoction. Last Friday it had come back up, I kept juicing, and this week it was up again. We are so thankful for that – I had this slight surge of panic that we were going to have a hiccup here right at the finish line, but we didn’t 🙂 Also last week I developed a stye on my eye – oh it has been ugly! Despite all my hot compresses and drops and salves I went to last Friday’s treatment in sunglasses. While my guys do a great job at being sympathetic to all my plights as of late they had fun with this one – it has been nothing but pirate speak around here and most instructions I’ve given them have been met with “aye, aye, Cap’n” (hence the pirate speak in the title, though it does have a double meaning). This week the swelling has gone down tremendously and I didn’t look like a pirate anymore, or a movie star avoiding the paparazzi yesterday (this was what Murphy said I looked like).
As I reported last time we didn’t get to take our Riverbanks Zoo birthday trip due to the rain – and then it kept raining, and raining, and raining, and between the weather, chemo and the last couple weeks of baseball it was hard to find another day that would work. We were able to do that this past Thursday and it was so much fun. We did leave Gus at home with my saint of a mother-in-law (again, seriously ya’ll, I won the lottery with her!) and had a great day with the big three. The weather was very comfortable for the morning and I held up great energy-wise. I even did the whole ropes course/climbing thing with the boys and went all the way to the top level. We laughed at lunch that I had just finished that and was going to chemo the next day – I must say that felt good. The zoo was full of babies – a 10 day old gorilla, a 3 month old giraffe, and some lion cubs. We still can’t all decide what was everyone’s favorite thing. I just know that if you had asked me at the beginning if I would be able to do something like this at the end of chemo I would have laughed – we could not be happier and more amazed at how well this chemo journey has been. Much easier than I anticipated – don’t get me wrong, it’s been hard – but isn’t that how God works so often? The things we dread and fear and imagine are going to be the worst thing ever….He get’s us through them and surprises us that we make it – sometimes a little bruised and scarred, sometimes weaker in ways, but realizing strengths we either didn’t know existed or that have developed along the way.
Here’s to next Friday! I am ready and not ready to ring that bell – ya’ll pray for me, I’m going to be a big ball of emotional mess I’m sure 🙂
Comments from CaringBridge
Janice Wright — 6/20/18
Praying for the end of this chemo journey to end with much joy! My grandson, Brian is facing his 3rd chemo treatment and scans. Please say a prayer for him as we have been for you.
Lou Queen — 6/20/18
Still praying for you and your family. ❤️🙏🐻👍😀
jenny surfus — 6/19/18
Soli Deo Gloria!!! Love you my friend and please know we have and will continue to pray for you and your family as you continue to ride out this grace journey. The Lord has y’all on!
Movene Futch — 6/16/18
Giving thanks with you and praying your week ahead will go well. May God’s healing and grace rest on you and all of your family. With love, care, and prayers. Movene Futch
Pam Cook — 6/16/18
In my prayers!!
Jan Davis — 6/16/18
“Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take; the clouds ye so much dread are big with mercy, and shall break in blessings on your head.” Continuing to pray for you Lesley.
Debra Parker — 6/16/18
You are my hero!!! Ringing the bell is bittersweet. It’s the end of what you’ve become comfortable with, and not knowing what’s ahead. Pray for you every day!! Love you!
Debbie Jacobs — 6/16/18
Great update, glad you had a fun time at the zoo with the boys. Prayers for you and your family continue!!
Kim Watts — 6/16/18
Woo hoo!!! The end is near!! I completely understand, it’s a bittersweet day when you finish. We are still very close to many nurses and families met a long the way. Cancer sucks really bad, but the people it places in your life are unbeatable!
Cancermamma 