December 17, 2018 · from Lesley’s original CaringBridge journal
16 years ago on this day (December 17) I got a phone call at lunch and half-heartedly agreed to go out to dinner with this guy named Marsh. That was the best “sure why not” decision I’ve ever made. Getting the results from my PET scan today put a little extra pressure on – I didn’t want to mar a good day. Thankfully results were good.
Yes, insurance did approve the PET scan after we played their game and had a CT first. I went in on Friday afternoon to have that done – but in true Lesley Letson style this couldn’t be without a little drama (and golly gee I don’t think of myself as a dramatic person but somehow it seems to find me!). With all the date changes because of insurance the PET ended up being scheduled on the same day as Gus’s follow up appointment with one of his doctors in Augusta. I didn’t want to change his appointment or mine – I needed to get these over with – so I just spoke to his doctor’s office and they were very sweet and were going to work with me on us being late. Well, the day before I got a call late in the afternoon from radiology just telling me what to expect for my scan. I was obviously not prepared. For one my appointment was at 2:30 instead of 2:00 like I originally thought and Gus’s was at 2:45. I also was unaware that I would need to be there for 2-3 hours. THEN he tells me that I really don’t need to be around my kids much for the following 24 hours because I will be radioactive. UGH! Our only real option at this point was that Marsh and I would drive separately to Augusta. He would take all the boys and handle Gus’s appointment. I would handle mine. And then I would hang around Augusta until after bedtime so as not to expose my kiddos to me (because if Gus knew I was in the house he would NOT go to sleep for Marsh). The scan went fine and wasn’t that bad – my arms did start to fall asleep after a while – but no big deal. I ran some errands at Cabela’s and Costco and then headed to Chick Fil A for some sustenance (since I wasn’t allowed to eat all day). As I approached the girl to place my order I rolled my window down and KER-KLUNK it broke – stuck barely halfway down (or up ever how you look at it). She asked for a name for my order but what came out was “oh my, my window just broke…man has it been a day” We chatted for a second and she said “Mrs. Lesley, Jesus loves you” and I said, “oh honey, do I ever know it!” I told her that I had gotten a PET scan to be sure all my cancer was gone that afternoon – I told her how good God has been to us this year – I told her I wasn’t dare going to complain about a broken window. (I just needed to figure out what to do about it because it was raining, I was an hour from home, and I still needed to go to Walmart to waste some more time.) She teared up a bit and said “that is a wonderful testimony.” We had a little Jesus moment there….and then the Lord’s chicken treated me right like I knew it would 😉 I got to the Walmart parking lot and tried to push my window up inconspicuously to no avail – I ended up having to climb up on my behemoth of a car and reach from over the top of the door frame to pull it up. While I was doing this a man and his wife were staring at me as they got in their car – I just said “oh, don’t mind me, just having a little window trouble in the rain.” They got in their car and left. (Just so you know, the four men we are raising here will not walk away from that situation – they will at least offer to help!!!) I searched the car for stuff to wedge in the window to keep it from slipping like Marsh had advised me to – I found a tube of hand cream and a few pens – this seemed to work okay. I did my stocking shopping and bought some tape for the window. I also bought a set of reindeer antlers and nose for my car – I felt like I and the car needed a prize after what we’d been through. I taped my window up and headed home to the tune of a nice constant whistle 🙂 Saturday was filled with Gus not understanding why I couldn’t pick him up so people tried to keep him away from me – the other boys would go “aaaaaaaa” if I got too close, or either sing Radioactive to me. They did request I take a selfie to see if I would glow. Thankfully 3:00 came and we were done with all that nonsense.
The weekend of waiting is tough, but the day of waiting on results is excruciating. Normally my doctor is Johnny-on-the-spot at emailing me results first thing in the morning, but today not so much. As it got closer to lunchtime I was convinced it was something bad and she was just waiting to call me. I called the office and found out she decided to be extremely sick today and not come into work – how dare she! I was going to be going to see my oncologist for a regularly scheduled appointment this afternoon anyway though, so I knew I would get the news from him. As the time to leave got closer I got more nervous – I was just certain it would be bad news – it wasn’t possible that it would be good. OH how Satan messes with my mind! OH how I question God’s goodness to me! But then I thought, if it is bad news, I can’t say God isn’t still good….He still loves me no matter what and I have to hold onto that. Ya’ll….there is nothing that will make you wrestle in your faith and what you truly believe more than a life threatening health diagnosis!
It is a little strange that I really do love going to the oncologist’s office – I love seeing all my nurses – they are like a second family to me and it is so fun catching up with everyone and getting good hugs – today I learned about a new baby to be! SO much fun! Nevertheless my nerves were still pretty high. When Dr. Wells walked in the room and asked how I was I said “if you don’t get me the results from that PET quickly we are going to have to get the ladies to give me something!!!” He came back and said “it looks good – take a deep breath.” While I would have loved to hear “there is nothing to see” I am still super thankful for the results. The questionable spot from way back when on my liver is no more. My brain and spine and bones looked great. The cyst on my right ovary is still large and in charge and we still need to get it looked at, but it does appear to be just a cyst – for whatever reason my body seems to like to grow extra things it doesn’t need. There were a few spots that showed up on my left lung but we believe these to be some inflammation from radiation scatter and not an abnormal thing to see at this point. We will have a follow up CT in three months to check on my lung – if the spots have not grown we can feel pretty certain that is what they are. I am going to pray boldly that they go away completely! Please join me!
As for now, the anniversary of my last first date has even more reason to celebrate. God has been merciful to us and we are humbled and grateful. This period post treatment is said to be the hardest emotionally – and I get it. I have been spared from death and that is a hard thing to wrap my mind around. In our Advent devotional tonight it closed with a verse that I think is most appropriate for closing this post:
Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign LORD comes escape from death.
Psalm 68:19-20
Comments from CaringBridge
Betty Johnson — 12/19/18
Dear Lesley, you are indeed an unbelievable testimony to the Lord. As you have been through this difficult time you have surely encouraged others as you let us hear the good and bad emotions and feelings that you endured. As you depend and trust Him, I pray that he will strengthen and sustain both you and Marsh. Of course will continue praying for you and your family. We wish you a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthier 2019!!
Renee’ Tew — 12/18/18
Oh Lesley! You are such a wonderful testimony for our wonderful Lord! You and your family, also! And yes Satan does come in and try to rob us of the good things! I’m also glad that you do not glow from the radiation that is. Lol. God bless you Lesley, and your wonderful family at this awesome time of year. Merry Christmas!
Jennifer Waters — 12/17/18
Praise be to God for good results! I’ll be joining with you in praying that those spots go away. And oh my goodness, “the Lord’s chicken.” LOL
Debbie Parker — 12/17/18
I remember you deciding to go on that dinner date with Marsh – best decision you ever made!!! So thankful for the good PET scan report. Praying that every abnormal growth disappears. Love you!!!
Ondra Lee — 12/17/18
I love you and so thankful that you and Marsh found each other!!!! 😘😘😘
Cancermamma 