April 9, 2020 · from Lesley’s original CaringBridge journal
Friends, I have been wanting to write for so long but just never got around to it. Unfortunately I am about to have a bit more time on my hands. Today has been a whirlwind for us.
Short backstory – last week I called my doctor bc I had some sinus congestion and a very painful ulcer on my tongue. She called in an antibiotic to try to head things off at the pass. Early this week I still felt crummy so I called them back. They said to come on in and let’s draw some blood and see if we could figure out what is going on. I went home. Woke up this morning feeling very much improved and started getting after my nasty house. Then the phone rang.
My test results were back and they looked really bad – your immune system is completely wiped out – when did you see your oncologist last? – who do you see? We don’t want to wait the weekend. And yes, panic attack set in quickly. I texted my sweet onco nurses and heard back very quickly. Y’all….they are some of the best people on the planet. I wish you all knew them too. There were lots of back and forth calls between me, the PA, my doctor, doctors arround town. Within an hour we were heading to Augusta. This is very serious and we need to get on it quickly I was told. They had a room ready for me before I left the house. I knew it wasn’t good. It was so hard to kiss my kids goodbye not knowing what was going on and when I would see them next, if at all.
We got here at 3:00 and had already felt the prayers of so many covering us into this strange unknown place. Through some miscommunication and a very caring person we were able to sneak Marsh up here – he wasn’t even supposed to be allowed to come in with me. I am thankful for that small grace. I kind of felt like a VIP – I’ve never been ushered into a room and treated so quickly – no ER, no other dr visit – straight to my room. They immediately tested me for COVID-19 (it was negative!) and drew blood for more labs. Those were back quickly too.
We met with the Doctor around 6:00 and he gave us the run-down. I have acute leukemia. Most likely it is a side effect from having had chemo before, but there is no way to really know. It is rare for this to happen – but we know if it’s weird and rare with a low chance of happening, it will happen to me! They will do a bone marrow biopsy in the morning which will give them more information. As it stands now I will be inpatient in the hospital for 3-4 weeks. No visitors. Not even Marsh, thanks to old ‘Rona! I will receive high dose chemotherapy (some starting tonight). I will lose all my hair again. This really stinks having to do this in solitary – BUT I AM NOT ALONE! That will be one of my mantras over the next month. I know that is where Satan will want to attack, my loneliness.
I have no idea what God is doing through this. I mean, of all the times to have to be in the hospital for an extended time – a global pandemic for goodness sakes! Not in a flippant way but I have had to laugh this evening. This is so surreal. I will say though it is slightly different than the first cancer diagnosis. I have so much more peace. It truly is a peace that surpasses understanding. And what a unique opportunity to have so much alone time to meditate on Christ and what he has done for me – for you! I am trusting. He got us through this once and He will get us through this again. I told the boys before I left today that yes, this is scary, but we can trust God. We have lived through him getting us through scary times before and He hasn’t stopped holding us. I told them to pray – and when they didn’t know what to pray ask Jesus to intercede for them. It is so comforting to know that my savior prays for me when I have no clue what to pray.
Yes, I am having to face my mortality again. Selfishly I want to bust through this strong on the other side. I want to get old with Marsh. I want to watch my fellas grow up. But I also know that may not be the plan. I am having to come to grips with that and be able to proclaim that even if….God is still so good.
We covet your prayers again. I will do my best to keep this updated again. Love to you all.
Lesley
Comments from CaringBridge
This post drew 37 comments on CaringBridge. CaringBridge’s comment pagination only fully expanded the first 20 here; the rest are on the original page if you’d like them added.
Karen (Regan McShanes mom) Pardoe — 4/11/20
Leslie, I hated to see you are once again facing such health issues. I prayed for you last time, but never let you know. I want to be more encouraging. You were such a blessing to Regan when she was in college. I too, went through breast cancer, loss of hair…etc. so I know how hard this is. But you are so strong, your faith is solid and your God is steadfast. As you well know, He will never leave you alone. Prayers for healing.
Krista Shook — 4/11/20
Hello Sweetie, Praying for you and your sweet family.
Kim Lathrup-Martin — 4/11/20
You are so strong. Kelsey, Kim, and Marli praying for you and your guys. You go girl!
Ellen Martin — 4/10/20
Praying for you! Thanking God for wonderful oncology nurses and doctors.
Mary Peters — 4/10/20
I’m so sorry to hear this but will pray for God’s peace that passes all understanding to be with you and your family daily as you endure this!
Carey McCaslin-Murns — 4/10/20
Oh Lesley…my heart breaks hearing this news. But reading your words and knowing your strength and determination and faith let’s me know that you are fighting. You know that God is good and you are doing all that you can by leaning in Him and trusting in Him. I will be praying for you and your family every day. ❤️
Cathy Del Toro — 4/10/20
Praying, praying, praying for the entire Letson family. May God fill you all with his peace and love.
Alice Churnock — 4/10/20
Love you so much! You’re NOT alone!! Thank you for letting us know how we can pray.
Heather Oaks — 4/10/20
Lesley, I’m so sorry to hear that you will once again be going through treatment. I’m praying for strength and peace. God is our Rock and Redeemer, a very present Help in times of trouble. My husband and I will be praying. Thank you for sharing this hard update.
Kim Boothe — 4/10/20
We don’t know each other, but we have a mutual friend, Joy Mosley. Last night I prayed for those who are sick, but not with Covid-19. I can imagine the isolation alone is bad enough, but I wonder if all the attention on this virus makes those with other illnesses feel that much more alone. This post was one of the first posts I saw this morning & knew that I needed to let you know I prayed for you, even though I didn’t know I was praying for you … and I will continue, for you and your family. faith>fear
Kyah Washington — 4/10/20
I will be praying for you. I love you! You got this! Stay strong! ❤
Susan Haywood — 4/9/20
Oh Lesley….. I love you so much and praying for you my sweet friend. Please keep us updated. ❤️
Caroline McDaniel — 4/9/20
Oh sweet, faith filled sister. You are truly an inspiration! Your faith amazes me and encourages my soul. I so hated to read this and it breaks my heart you all are going through this and NOW of all times. No words friend other than Great is Thy Faithfulness!! Morning by morning new mercies we see. I am praying for and with you for healing, Lesley!! Also, for strength and endurance for you, Marsh and your precious boys.
Nancy Sullivan — 4/9/20
So sorry this is happening to you Leslie! And yes. You are in the palm of His hand. Fervent prayers from us.
Marlo Burdge — 4/9/20
Oh my friend. There are no words. Thank you for sharing the news, as scary as it is. Love your encouragement to your boys – when you don’t know what to pray, ask God to fill in the words! That’s what I’ll do now. Love, and peace, and interceded prayers!
Gerry Brooks — 4/9/20
May God bless and keep you as He is always with you. Stay strong in the Lord. Dick and I will continue to pray for you and your “Men”, along with the Staff of Doctors and Nurses as they lovingly care for you.
Julie Bryan — 4/9/20
You are my SuperWoman in Christ! We are praying fervently for you and your family!❤️
jeri willeby — 4/9/20
I am so sad reading this. I had you on my mind earlier this week when praying for friends. I thought Lesley, Marsh and the boys should do well with social distancing on the tree farm. I will pray daily for you, your family, and care providers. I look forward to seeing how God answers prayers. You are so good at being transparent and sharing. Your faith will get you through whatever the future holds. His grace is sufficient. According to his Word, Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid for the Lord is with you always. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for y’all.
Windy McKenzie — 4/9/20
Oh Lesley! I am so sorry and am praying. We love y’all.
Shawn Davis — 4/9/20
Hi Leslie, The same thing happened to my mom five years after treatment for breast cancer. She developed Acute Myeloid Leukemia. It was a tough treatment but she has been clear 14 years. Hang in there!
Cancermamma 