April 30, 2020 · from Lesley’s original CaringBridge journal
I promised you guys that I would keep it real here, no hiding the yuck. Well, I have had a crummy couple of days. Ursula is trying to show her stuff and my mouth has hurt so bad I haven’t eaten much yesterday or today. None of the fifty different methods of alleviating my pain was working. Yesterday we switched to IV pain medicine. Still nothing. Finally last night we doubled the dose, loaded up on all the local anesthetic and I was able to drink some broth and a coke. We have done the same today and I’ve eaten a little more than I did yesterday. I am sure there is some reason for me enduring this ulcer so long, but man, I’m having a real hard time seeing any good in it right now.
My hair has really started coming out. I decided not to shave this time because I don’t know if you remember, but last time when I shaved it took forever for the tiny hairs to fall out and it felt like needles in my head. This way doesn’t seem to hurt as bad but it is so gross. Hair is everywhere. I am being attacked by it at all times. I have realized that I have a lot of hair. I have brushed and brushed brushfulls of hair and there is still plenty up there. I hope it comes back this thick again!
I miss Marsh. I had myself a little breakdown this afternoon. I just want him here. Or me there. I really hope they let up on the visitation rules soon with the rest of the state opening up.
I decided I needed to get out of my pity party a bit so I cleaned my room. It had gotten a bit messy so I straightened up, threw away, and did a couple of small projects I had been meaning to do. It is okay to feel the bad, but at some point you do have to get up so I did that tonight. Now I’m going to get ready for my next dose of pain meds, watch a show with my kids (we have a show we have been watching together at home, so we have kept watching together, just apart while I’m here), watch the Parks and Rec special tonight, and hopefully sleep through some more of this mouth pain.
Still hoping, still trusting, still praising the Lord for what He is doing. Just didn’t want y’all to feel left out or snowed over by not hearing the nitty gritty too.
Much love,
Lesley
Comments from CaringBridge
Laura Lee Sims — 5/2/20
So glad you are being real with this, Lesley. So hard. Praying for that mean ol’ mouth ulcer. Glad you can take a lighter view of losing your hair. Also praying that you can see your husband and boys soon. I know you hanging tough, even if you don’t feel tough. “When I am weak; He is strong.” I love your posts! Thank you!
Debbie C. Thomas — 5/1/20
I’m so sorry that you have to endure mouth ulcers on top of everything else you’re having to deal with. Sure hoping that Marsh can come visit you soon! I know you’re needing a hug. Stay strong Lesley! You’re such an inspiration. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
lee blount — 5/1/20
Praying you feel some immediate relief. I cried when you mentioned how you are missing your husband. Prayers that they lift this restriction very soon.
Laura Hayes — 5/1/20
I am praying for you and your family. I follow updates that Whitney posts. My small group and breast cancer support group are praying for you.
Gretchen Hitchcock — 5/1/20
So much of this just stinks. Praying for Ursula to leave and for you to feel uplifted. I know our Lord is with you.
Donnie Keadle — 5/1/20
Debbie and I are praying for you each day. Debbie also talks with Cathy often about your progress. You are so encouraging and strong. Know that God loves you and we love you.🙏🙏
Barbara Johnson — 5/1/20
Thank you for sharing and allowing us to know how to pray.
Ellen Smith — 5/1/20
When I had breast cancer I went to a “seminar” put on by American Cancer society. I was fortunate that I did not have to have chemo, just radiation. I have never been with braver women. It was so humbling. They were experiencing what you are and were trying to help one another. The young woman beside me said when her hair fell out she said she always wanted to be a redhead. She went to borrow from Cancer society and ended getting wigs of every color. I will never forget these lovely ladies, so many were young. Thank you for so honestly sharing each step of your journey. We are Praying. Love, Ellen Smith
margie veatch — 5/1/20
Praying for you. I heard about your story through Joy Mosley. May your mouth heal quickly.
Renee’ Tew — 5/1/20
Dear Lesley, I am praying so much for you. I’m sure that you don’t feel like it some times, but you are a rock….a rock for Marsh, your boys, your extended family, and everyone you reach with your words. You encourage people when you are the one who should get the encouragement! I know how this happens….Our wonderful Lord is YOUR rock and encourager, and you share that! God bless you Lesley! Keep your focus on HIM! Love you my friend, Renee’
Dawn Cannon — 4/30/20
Sending love to you, lovely Lesley. May God encourage you!
Janice Wright — 4/30/20
Just a thought but maybe a soft shower cap would keep the hair inside instead of getting all over you. Praying for a good night and for that ulcer to heal!
Jill Pendley — 4/30/20
Lesley, I’m so sorry about Ursula!! I have had some doozies, and I am just…so sorry!! I don’t know if you’ve been inundated with “home remedies”, so I hope you don’t go… oh, brother! I hold an ice cube on it or crushed ice, if I could get it, in my mouth. Also, L-lysine is an amino acid I would take when it starts. I realize any other supplement may not be allowed. Please God, give Lesley relief from this nagging ulcer!!
Christina Brannen — 4/30/20
Man, that is all such hard stuff. Praying for you as you endure this hard path!
Delores Brooks — 4/30/20
From Fat Daddy: Remember, you were a Majorette.
Cancermamma 